Spinning Plates, Juggling Bowling Balls

Y'ever get those days, weeks, months where you feel that your life has been an engine revving out of gear? That feeling of sitting at a stop light and somehow the shifter got knocked into neutral while you weren't looking... Or worse, the transmission goes out just as the light turns green and... YOU'RE OFF!... Then you get that momentary sinking feeling in your gut as the optical illusion of the cars going by you make you feel like you're going backwards?

What the heck am I doing? Why am I not moving? What am I doing wrong?

Sound familiar? Sometimes I'm so concerned with treating everyone fairly and right that I end up beating myself up over the possibility of being wrong. Focusing on being right rather than that one first love of mine: "That they might know you, the only true G_d & Messiah Yeshua who you have sent."

It's so easy to get this wierd focus on the completion of a chore, the execution of a project or the delivery of a final product. It's far too easy to measure myself based on income, profit or the satisfaction of a client. Continually critiquing myself in the harsh eyes of reality that i'm not perfect.

Everyone's eyes seem to turn into harsh, cold mirrors that reflect my every mistake and flaw. Frustration leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering... no, wait... that's yoda... you get the point.

When I get focused on my imperfections, limitations & insufficiencies, the gears slip and gas burns but nothing happens.

If I'm not careful, I just stop trying. Then there's those other condemning people who tell you that they have "never thought of quitting."

Yeah, right. That's just not human.

Well, today is another day. And today, I want to do the best Jesus impression I know how to do.

Maybe. Just possibly. Someone will get us confused and they'll see a little bit more of him than me today.