Prayer

Supposedly Smith Wigglesworth (yep, that's his name) once wrote [paraphrase] "Since i've been saved, I've never prayed for more than 20 minutes but i've never gone more than 20 minutes without praying." Now, i'm not saying that we should stick folks with the thought that they should have an egg timer on their belt and hit their knees when the alarm goes off... not the point at all. I think prayer is more of a 2 way conversation rather than a one-sided dialog.

Naeem (the lead teaching pastor of Mosaic Charlotte) also made some really interesting insights into prayer that have been with me in my thoughts for the last few weeks. In summary, most people pray the fill-in-the-blank prayers:
"Lord, I need ______."
"Lord, help me with _____."
"Lord, I want ______."
"Lord, please allow _____ to happen."
"Lord, heal me of ______."

Not that we shouldn't present these requests... of course, present these requests... His challenge was to verbally say, even confess, the unspoken part: "Because, If you don't, I'm afraid that ___________________." What is the fear if these requests aren't met to your expectations or desires? Sometimes, we may need the Father to address the hidden fear more or as much as the need itself. One of my friends (Larry Salley of Charleston, SC) has really shed some light on the personal discipline of prayer. In his openness, I admire his ability to frankly state that it's sometimes difficult to open that conversation with the Most High.

In reading through various blogs that occasionally touch on the subject of Prayer, I've postulated (as above) prayer is a conversation. The problem with this conversation is that it tends to be a bit whop-sided. First of all, if you're like me, you generally don't hear "the voice." Y'know, the booming, deep, omnipotent voice of the Most High. Even a "still, small voice" seems a bit far fetched. Is it any wonder that most folks who question the relevance of prayer seem to have this as their main backbone argument. Who's really listening any way... and even if he is, he's certainly not sharing any details.

There are those who would present the fact that if good things are happening and working my way, my prayers are being answered and things are dandy. But if things are not so good, or (dare i say) bad, then we assume the prayers aren't working and the Lord of Heaven has seen fit to make evident his disapproval. There are also those (of whom I could easily be counted among) who pray the loudest when there's an impending, personal need or want... and the volume subsides when things are fat & happy.

The Wife:
Y'know... I LOVE talking to my wife. She's one of the coolest, most interesting, captivating & inspiring people I know. She could talk for hours on almost any subject and I would want to participate in the conversation. She's fluent in spanish and owns a tutoring business. When she discusses business, strategies, techniques, dreams, hopes... anything really... her topic is almost always interesting and draws me in. Why do we seem to look at prayer any differently? It is hopefully the same: "A conversation that is rooted in the fact that you admire, respect & deeply love the one with whom you're having the conversation."

I think physical presence helps with my wife & me. With her being in the same room, I feel as if I'm more able to read her total communication. Especially since 90% (or some exorbitant amount) of conversation is non-verbal communication, anyway! You don't get that with G_d. I mean, with Rebekah I can see her facial expressions, body language & verbal tone. But with the Creator, most of the time you're trying to read it out of how the weather is, how your sinuses are, what this ancient tome reads, etc. It's difficult. You don't even get a "tone of voice." Rather, you read into this one-sided conversation from the tone of voice you're using in your current mental attitude.

Try it... next time you get an email from a colleague... Read it with a smile on your face. You'll find the email to seem less demanding, demeaning & derogatory. But if you read it with a piss-poor attitude, you'll wanna fire back a scathing response. Same thing with prayer. Maybe the one exception is that you know that G_d can squash you like an ant... but you may still read wrath when you're enraged and peacefulness when you're prosperous.

Well, this isn't an answer to how to make your prayers perfect. Naeem did however give some real insights into cultivating your prayer life. I cannot remember his 4 words, but the gist was to keep the prayers, honest, open, trusting & not-to-showy. With a genuine, truthful approach, it is easier to accept that G_d's answers aren't always presented in a firework display. But we also have to give some time, patience & persistence to the process of prayer. One statement he said: "Pray until the situation changes or until you change." Sometimes it's a continual pushing that brings the change.

I'm not sure I have a good conclusion to this thought, other than it's something I've been thinking about for a while... well. that's it.

Staring thru Sunglasses

Tim Lucas of Liquid has gotten me somewhat addicted to listening to U2. I stumbled upon a quote by Bono: "it is impossible to meet G-d with sunglasses on." I don't generally SPELL out "gee-oh-dee." No, I'm not jewish. It's a personal practice.

This creator made some seriously cool stuff. But he made one item that never ceases to amaze me: people. Whether they're in need or wealthy... whether they're arrogant or humble... rude or kind... mean or nice... strange or normal... they're all created in the image of the creator. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone when you don't consider that. I can easily want to see a person suffer when I don't consider that they deserve the exact same punishment I do. Then i have to stop being so friggen cocky (it's a barely noticable trait) and consider the other person through different eyes.

I sometimes tend to walk up to a person who is taking up space and breathing air and approach them as an object that has one of two purposes:

1. Do as I wish or instruct
2. Piss me off

It seems those are the two most popular choices... And with only THOSE two choices, it's not surprising that the second happens far more often than the first.

Now, I'm not simply looking for people to either please me or get out of the way... most of the time. But we all do that. We all walk into a scenario with other people and a set of loaded expectations and a deck stacked against them. The problem is, they are often walking in with an equally stacked deck. It then becomes an others/self sceneario. So why is it so easy to only think about what will affect "me?"

Well, my current answer is: I live with myself 24 hrs a day... 7 days a week... 365 days a year. I have to spend holidays with myself, weekends, vacations, sporting events... i can't even go to the bathroom without myself. Really. Can't a person have some privacy?

We are surrounded with "self" and so little time do we spend with others. It's like ... well, it's like Coach Sal & Jogging. I know the dude runs like 9 million miles a day because he surrounds himself with all the trimmings of a runner. In the same way, we tend to surround ourself with ourself.

When we perform well, we see that as a jewel of our life... We set it on display. We polish it. We prize it. We want it noticed. But, when we don't perform, that's something else to throw into the closet of unforgettable memories. And yet, that over loaded closet has armed guards and is often protected more than our treasured parts. The closet gets full; overflows & spills out so that now everyone is pointing at our faux pas. Our jewel gets scuffed and begins to smell of the rank disgust of our room of disgrace. Now we must over compensate and create confidence out of cocky.

It's tougher to walk into the presence of someone so selfless as Yeshua when my self seems to be such a big part of who I am. Everyone tells us to "be yourself." We spend years trying to "find" ourself. Philosophies make it necessary to "know" one's self.

Now you have this self-proclaimed deity dude saying forget yourself. So we trade freedom with the barrier of cool sunglasses. And safest place to appear without your sunglasses, becomes the most difficult place to go.

With so many Xtians (where x is the Greek letter Chi which stands for Christ the greek word for Messiah) who parade about as if to say: "Y'know, Jesus could have simply pricked his finger and washed my sin away... but he had to DIE because of you." It's easy to forget that they're just as trapped by their sunglasses, too. Almost all of us have a hiding place that we don't even want the Creator to come. Almost all of us have times where we want to wear a disguise in hopes that even our Savior doesn't recognize us. Sometimes it's pride. Often it's fear. Mostly it's guilt. But it's not guilt heaped on by your Father.