More on Charli

Well, Bek's parents came by this week to watch Charli as Beks went back to work for a week to help her kids with EOG testing. Needless to say, I was going to have my hands full with client work, meetings and keeping a little girl who has only seen light-of-day for about 2 months. Thankfully, Bek's mom n dad were able to be a great support. 

Charli can really burp. When she's fed, she'll get to a point where she is kinda just hanging onto the bottle... not really taking anymore in. I'll take the bottle out (we're pumping Mommy-milk & bottle feeding to let Beks rest) and slowly sit her upright... With one hand in her abdomen, and the other leaning her forward as she sits on my knee... then BURP. 

Okay... (other people's) Baby's just aren't cute to me. I don't like spit-up. I am not fond of flailing fannies with fecal matter nor the idea of wiping down a wriggling child with wet wipes. The thing that takes the cake: a child's hand slathered in something resembling food which is now placed firmly in your hair... on the remote... or under your pillow. 

Sorry, I just don't think that's cute. Maybe funny when it happens... but not cute. 

[Enter Charlize Marianela Goode (Charli for short).]

Truth be told, some folks... heck... even some of you who may be reading this blog now! Some folks said: "Pete, everything changes when you get married!" Well, I just didn't believe you. First of all, besides 2 major things (living in the same house & doin' th' deed... ahem), Beks & I are still friends. We still talk and enjoy spending time with each other. Honestly, to the point I can't stand spending large amounts of time without her... She really is the better half of my world. But most folks made it sound like marriage made her grow another head and that her sweet disposition was a way to lure me into her lair where she'd turn me into some submissive, panty-wearing girl. And that my only notable phrase would be: "Yes, dear." 

Or, that I would become this domineering husband who made her tremble in fear of my wrath... That I would sit in the den on Saturdays & Sundays with "Th' boys" and watch  "Th' Game" or "Th' Race" while consuming vast amounts of junk food and beverages. Sorry, just seem's a dumbed down way of looking at marriage. Sorry. Not happening. We're both thinking, rational Christ-following adults. Well, most everyone (IMHO) was wrong with marriage. (I'm babbling... back on topic).

So, since most folks were wrong with marriage (all those negative things)... it was no surprise that the same folks told me how EVERYTHING changes with kids. To a degree, they were exaggerating. But they weren't wrong this time. Let me 'splain... no. there is too much... let me sum up.

Y'know... the Creator of heaven and earth has a way of demonstrating his Love for us. It's called: Children. I realized the love of the Father was really not dependent upon what we've done, produced or become. Charli hasn't "done" anything in the last 8 weeks. Nothing purposeful. I don't think pooping in a diaper was a voluntary action to test our resolve at loving her. Still, I realize... there is nothing this girl can do to make me regret her birth. There's nothing she could do or become that would make me ashamed to be called her dad. Now, I expect that she'll make mistakes and do things wrong. I expect that she will see my displeasure and feel my discipline. But I will always have a beaming pride in who she is. Now turn that around... Realize the Father of Creation looks at us the same way. When I screw up (i'm Goode at that) He still looks at me with the same chest-out, beaming pride! It's the rest of the church that tries to convince you otherwise. Why? Because they realize how unsure they are in the truth of G_d's love. In fact, it becomes obvious to those who are parents how the wrath of the Warrior of heaven is fueled by his love for his Children.

I've realized how fierce a person can become when it comes to their children. It is only a half-joke to hear a dad says his shotgun is loaded when his daughter arrives home from the hospital. The truth is, mine is (minus one in the chamber). I realize that the life of lesser life-forms on this earth (you) mean so little in comparison to the life of my wife and daughter. It's almost savage. It's the notion that we can be the best of friends. But if you lay a hand on my daughter... (or worse... my Wife), I then lose all regards for your personal safety and well-being.

Someone says: "Well, that doesn't sound very Christ-like." Well, I disagree. Sure... there's forgiveness. But in the moment where I have to choose which is more valuable? I choose my wife & daughter any day, hands down. So, in respect to becoming a Dad... I was savage before she was born. But now I feel an inner animal instinct to protect my offspring... whatever that requires of me. (Think Messiah & a cross) Whatever that requires of me. The Father falling for the fallen. Think the champion for the weak.

Beyond the desire to protect my girls, there's also the more practical areas of life impact. In the wisdom of the Creator, he made children come out as fairly low-impact. Low-impact meaning, they can't walk, talk or hide the remote yet. So, you kind of get thrust into a gradual increase of responsibility. Initially, you're just the transportation, care-taker & food source. As things progress, you also have to field moving objects, become the goalie to protect them from objects (and objects from them), and life instructor. Sure, the initial wake up call is rather brash... but it's fairly innocuous. Adjusting a sleep schedule, allotting 30 extra minutes for any activities, finding ways to escape the home and gain sanity.

We're fortunate that we both work from home and that Charli is a very low-maintenance child. She's not colicky, nor does she have any major health concerns. I cannot imagine what some friends go through when faced with facts detrimental to the health of their child. We're truly fortunate. That said, we also make a point to find a baby-sitter (friends & family) to care for her as we escape the home on purpose to spend time together (We went to watch 2 movies this week!).

So, the everything changes when you have a child... Busted. It's not true. Unless you let it be true. I can see that much more will change. I understand that parents feel the weighing responsibility for the child's safety & future. I know there'll be parts that scare the crap out of us and make us cry. There will be parts where we can't control the smiles on our face. But that's life! Life changes. Life requires more from us as we become more. But it changed course on the day of her birth. It was only 5 degrees different when she was born. But 5 degrees over years is miles apart from what might have been if she wasn't here. And that is unimaginable.

If you have kids, take a look at them. Is there anything in your house they could break that would destroy your love for them? If yes, you need to get rid of that thing... If no... well, that means you have a brain and a heart. I know we're now embarking on a great journey. But, it's a journey that has twists & turns... it's not like we jump track and begin speaking martian all of the sudden. It's a gradual change so far... I expect there will be unexpected parts. But I also think you get what you look for (ask, seek & knock). We expect the two's, tween & teen years to be great years with great memories punctuated by teaching moments.

It's going to be a fun ride! I trust that the Father has us under his hand. I can only believe that He can work it all out to the Goode & nothing will come at us we're not capable of facing. I think becoming a father is an event to build my faith.

I'm not dreading it. I'm looking forward to it. The alternative is not going through it. Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it! Imagine NOT seeing those little ones through those years. Puts it in a different perspective.

Obama & 57+ States

Ok, This was funny. But I've heard equal flubs from both sides... But this one is slightly more pronounced since he is:
1. A fairly well spoken man.
2. Of Muslim Decent.
3. A Junior Senator (did i say Junior?)

However, it seems that both sides wants flubs forgiven, but wants to flog the flubs of the other freaks (had to work lots of Effs in there... and still remain clean.)

The folks he talks about (during the last state of the union) are really in pain... but how much of his new social agenda is going to be promised to boost the middle class and the low income folks who clearly spend every dime they have. His socialized medical & health... limiting profits of private companies... raising taxes on the profitable producing companies... expectations of punishing business owners will do nothing but hurt our economy.

People who yap about how the Government needs to fix stuff should take a good look at the US Constitution. It says "WE THE PEOPLE" not "LET THE GOVERNMENT..." It says we are responsible... we the people. We the people are responsible to establish justice. We're responsible to Life, Liberty & the PURSUIT of happiness.

I don't care who's in the White House! There's not a single one of them that will solve your problems. The only house that can solve your problems is YOUR house. If you will wake up and begin making decisions and taking responsibility when YOU charge up a credit card and max out your debt, and YOU start making changes in how you act... When YOU start taking responsibility for your behavior and your kids... when YOU start taking responsibility for your decisions of what you do, say & eat... When YOU show up for work on time or before... when YOU stay at work until time to get off or 5 minutes later... When YOU work the entire day you're AT work and quit worrying about how many vacation days you get. When YOU become an effective individual... then YOU will notice a difference in YOUR life. The biggest contributing part of YOUR life is YOU.

Grow up and shut up. Remember it was JFK that said we should stop asking what the country will do for us! Rather we should ask how we can become a productive part of this nation.

Quit thinking that Obama, Clinton & McCain will solve your problems. YOU solve your problems. You are not entitled because you're an American. You don't deserve squat. You deserve to get up and leave the cave and drag your OWN dinner home like the rest of us. Quit complaining that it's hard work, we all have to do it, too! As Larry Salley so eloquently pointed out: Life is NOT fair. Get over it!

You be a responsible, contributing & giving part of YOUR community. Quit waiting for the "Government" to raise MY taxes to pay for your stupid choices. This election is going to give us 4 years of something I don't think we want... regardless who wins.

Basically... whoever wins, we lose.

Charli

For those who are out of the loop, I'm a dad. For those who didn't know there was a loop, I'm a dad. For the unsuspecting stumbler who happens upon this blog (because we know there are thronging masses that search for the things I write about), I'm a dad. Finally. Just in case you didn't get the point, I'm a dad.

Ok... let's pose this as a self-important Q&A session.... I'll act like I was being interviewed by Diane Sawyer or something.

1. Q: Boy or Girl?
   A: Girl


2. Q: What's her name?
   A: Charlize Marianela "Charli" Goode? She's the 4th Charli in her family, but the first girl Charli. We also figured out a way of putting every one of the grandparents names into her name. Charli (Bek's dad), Mari-Anela... Marie is Bek's mom's middle name & Ann is my mom's middle name. Goode... well, needless to say, that's my dad's name. Since that could change, we figured we'd pass along my dad's looks (something like my sister, Deb).


3. Q: How much did she weigh?
   A: Oddly, this question will be highly offensive when she's older. But at the moment, it's not a big deal. She weighed 7 lb 10 oz. and is currently about to breach 9 lb.


4. Q: How long was she?
   A: 22.25 inches. We also had her stand up to tell how tall she was, but we kept getting about 9.6 inches because she'd fall down every time we stood her up.


5. Q: When was she born?
   A: On her birthday. What a coincidence! So was I. When were you born? Okay, seriously. March 29, 2008 at 12:30 PM (that's the daylight one for those who are unsure).


6. Q: Who does she look like?
   A: She's the spitting image of my daughter. It's uncanny! Okay, people are saying they can see the Goode side of the family in her face. If that's the case, I hope she gets Bek's attitude. For those smart-sphincters: if you've ever met my sister, you may be surprised that my side of the family is also capable of producing Goode looks. Granted, it all got spent on her. But proof still remains.


7. Q: How are you feeding her?
   A: Well.


8. Q: No, are you bottle feeding or nursing?
   A: Well, I'm bottle feeding her, but her mom is nursing.


9. Q: Had you ever changed a diaper before she was born?
   A: No.


10. Q: Do you help with changing the diapers now?
    A: Yes. Can you ask better questions? I don't like Yes/No questions.


11. Q: If I ask anything besides Y/N questions, will you ramble as much?
    A: Probably. It's in my genetics.


12. Q: So, what are your thoughts on being a dad.
    A: There's nothing like it. I distinctly remember countless folks telling us, "You'll understand when you're married," & "It all changes when you're married." But when we got married, there were only a few things that changed (moving in together & doin' th' deed - ahem!). We were still friends. The world didn't start revolving backwards for us.
    
    When I heard the same folks saying: "Nothing's the same when you have kids," or "You'll know when you have kids," or "Life will never be the same again..." needless to say, I was skeptical. I was surprised to see that some of what they said was right. Now, the girl is still in diapers, doesn't walk nor does she talk... so her impact footprint is still relatively small. However, I can see some major changes and some changes that will come sooner than I thought?


13. Q: Are you prepped for the "Terrible Two's" yet?
    A: Y'know, I think you get what you ask for. People find what they expect to find. That's why the bible says: "Seek & you will find it." So, we're looking for the two's, tweens & teens to be a pure joy. Now, I'm not so naive to believe it will be all rainbows & roses. First, that would be just gay. Second, learning happens when you have trials. Still, I expect my children to listen to me. But I also expect to discipline my child. It's our responsibility to raise her, not the government or some school teacher.


14. Q: Have you discussed with your wife how you will discipline your children?
    A: Yes! Quickly & severely. I'm not a fan of the "count to three" method employed by so many parents. Now, I'm not saying that I'll snap and start flogging the child. At the same time, I want it to be understood that disobedience is not an option to consider. It has consequences. A swift pop on the bottom will help the child understand to not touch the cookies. The truth is, the tap on the tush is more shock than pain. We have some friends whose son has taken some pretty nasty licks while playing and kept smiling. But you hit his backside lightly with a paddle and a stern voice, the kid wails the scream of torture.


15. Q: Do you believe in spanking?
    A: Yes. But I do not believe in bigfoot.


16. Q: Can I give you a little bit of advice on parenthood?
    A: No. I've seen you and your kids. I don't want kids that act like you or yours.

Well, that about wraps up our interview. I'm working on posting photos, but it may take a while. Not the top priority. I'll show them to you when I see you next. It seems that I pissed off the interviewer. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.

Pete is...

Well, this harkens back to one of mike's old posts... possibly even one of larry's. I did a google of what "Pete is." Ok, first things first. I got the idea from facebook. It has this thing to tell what you're doing, how you're feeling or some absurd item like that. Truth be told, I have a facebook to catch up with one friend (bryan) & to try to get a group of my fellow Eagle Scouts together to do a banquet in honor of our former Scout Master. Afterwards, I'll likely cancel it and go back to being a hermit. Beyond that, I think that facebook, myspace and their ilk are a huge waste of time, energy and internet space. Folks who spend their lives online are bona fide, card-carrying idiots... but it did get me to thinking... I wonder what Pete is?

Well, if I Google that phrase "Pete is," I come up with the following

1. Pete is almost free.
2. Pete is pissed
3. Pete is a man
4. Pete is interviewed on this day
5. Pete is lying
6. Pete is known as the 5th beatle
7. Pete is a voting member of the grammys
8. Pete is an incredible soul
9. Pete is a very traditional guy

Well. It's nice that I can be summed up in such flat characteristics. I'm sure we could drill into some of those and find truth (justice & an american greeting card cover). We may even be able to be a bit esoteric and find a deeper, hidden meaning to what Pete is. But as I was about to drop it and let myself be summed up by a search engine, I got a glimpse of my soap box in the corner of the room. I decided to dust it off (ok, there's no dust on it) and test it out.

First, I stood on it and it broke. So, item # 1 is established: Pete is overweight.

Ok, where was I.... oh, yes. fat. ok, Pete is (in no particular order):

• Pete is an investor. I want to be goode at something more than just a name-sake. I'd like to be able to make meaningful contributions beyond just sweat. Not to underestimate the value of a gallon of holy sweat, but I'd like a legacy larger than a bucket of salt water.
• Pete is a business owner. I got tired of working for someone else. Quite a while back (during camp one year) I figured out that I don't really like taking barked orders. I don't mind being asked. But barking at me makes me pissed (see item # 2 in the list above) and more likely to push back.
• Pete is an entrepreneur. I like building my own thing. Fulfilling someone else's dream all the time can get frustrating unless your own dreams can be seen in the mix.
• Pete is trying to remember what he was going to put for this point.
• Pete is sarcastic. Need I explain?
• Pete is a conservative Christ-follower. Here's a tricky item. I'm quite conservative, but I'm fairly certain that my tight leash isn't what puts me in good favor with the Father. I'm also likely to partake in fermented wheat and barley water and might even let a cuss word slip. But to hell with it.
• Pete is a screw up. Y'kinda got to be one when you're an entrepreneur. You really gotta know what it's like to screw up before you can make any real strides. I have a list of mistakes several miles long and I remember most of them as if they all happened yesterday. In fact, there are others who have small lists of my mistakes that are far from complete. I really wish I could get my hands on one of those lists and make it more... uh... robust.
• Pete is really sick of politicians. I'd like to hear someone walk to the podium on polling day and tell a bunch of these lazy, entitled americans to get off their fat butts and get to work.
• Pete is a proficient designer. I may be using the word proficient incorrectly here. I do this well. I'm no david carson by any means. But, I know how to do what I do.
• Pete is an apple enthusiast. This is obvious. But I'm not one sided. I own both PC & Mac computers. I'm just partial to having a piece of hardware and software combinations that actually work when I expect them to.
• Pete is writing a blog post about what Pete is.
• Pete is a little self absorbed at the moment.
• Pete is a husband (thus married). Though there are days when I seem oblivious to what an amazing woman she is, I cannot ignore the fact that she makes each day an exciting adventure. Nothing shines as brightly as when she is around.
• Pete is forgiven. This is the toughest part of the list. I know this to be true. I believe it whole-heartedly. But forgiving one's self is more difficult than it seems.
• Pete is a dad. I can't tell you how amazing my daughter is. For those folks who don't have kids, the only way you'll know what it's like is to become a parent.
• Pete is armed. seriously.
• Pete is still fairly abrasive.
• Pete is done writing this.

As it goes, I'm not trying to write my own biography. Nor am I trying to be self absorbed. But it seems that there is this flat side of people we see. I think it's a self-preservation tactic. I know so many people on a shallow, cursory level. I have these assumptions about them and some folks I've never given a real chance to be who they are. I summed myself up as if I were a lightly crinkled, piece of paper: sure, there are levels... but you can see most of them. But I know there's more. But why show more when you realize most folks look at you and just write you off. So, you focus on all your surface qualities and prep them to either

1. Attract others or
2. Repel others

Well. I'm going to wrap this post. I will start babbling shortly. That won't be pretty.